these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
