Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So much rum. So many feels.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
third nipple confirmed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
