But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
