So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just pee around me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's get the cat blown out
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
