Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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