I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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