who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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