Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
