I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
