I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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