I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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