I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
