I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
