I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
