You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
