Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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