Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
