I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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