I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
