they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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