So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
