This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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