i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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