dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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