hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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