Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
