What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
