Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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