you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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