He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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