why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
