Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
