So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
