guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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