i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
