I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
