Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
