i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
