come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize