My friends, they love my intelligence
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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