I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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