Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
