The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
