Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
