Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
