Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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