You work out of a Hotel?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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