this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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