if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
