i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
