There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
