So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
