I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
whose ass print is on the piano?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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