You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We have started to decorate penises.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
