Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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