There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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