Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
